Seven Pillars of Succulence
A fun piece I wrote for B-metro a few years ago about getting the perfect shot for a drive program in the Middle East.
JORDAN -- Where is Osama, I fret, pacing and worried we’re losing the light? Osama is our Bedouin guide #humancompass, and all knowing of all things in Jordan’s Wadi Rum desert – the same desert T.E. Lawrence (of Arabia) crossed one hundred years ago in WWI to capture Aqaba from the Ottomans.
I’m in Jordan doing recon for a test drive – we’re recreating Lawrence’s march to Aqaba with about 100 media, but using Ford trucks and SUVs instead of by camel back.
Orchestrating incredible test drives is one of the coolest aspects of working in automotive PR. When Mercedes launched the M-Class in 1998, B’ham rock star Linda Sewell convinced them to bring more than 500 media to Alabama for the test drives. In planning these drives, one looks for the perfect combination of story-telling, great routes, wonderful venues and the ability for media and “influencers” to conveniently create killer and shareable content. The M-Class drive showcased Alabama as well as the vehicle.
It started at the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, featuring a dinner talk by astronaut Charlie Duke #moonwalker. The drive included a traditional southern breakfast, a stop at Lake Guntersville for jet-skiing and photos, an incredible off-road experience overlooking the Tennessee River, and ended with a blues and jazz evening at the railroad depot in downtown Huntsville. The requisite plant tour followed the next day in T-town.
Automakers host these events around the world, with every major launch, and the very top reviewers have jam-packed year-round schedules. Today’s drives include as many instagrammers as hard-core auto writers.
Since first visiting Jordan and experiencing the wonders of The Dead Sea, Wadi Rum desert and Aqaba, I knew we had to find a way to do a test drive here.
An upcoming product intro, together with the one-hundred-year anniversary of the Arab Revolt was fortuitous. Indeed, it was June 1916 when Emir Faisal (depicted by Alec Guinness in the movie) rebelled against its Ottoman rulers, joining the Brits and French in WWI. A junior British officer named T.E. Lawrence, who spoke fluent Arabic and knew the region, was selected to be liaison to the Arab tribes.
In July, 1917, he led a small group of cavalries through a desert many considered impassible, over two grueling months in the sun (the Devil’s anvil!) to approach Aqaba from the land.
So, here we are at the Devil’s anvil, gritting our teeth and waiting for Osama. I’m standing by a car carrier full of trucks and SUVs. Our mission is to stage a photo at the famous Seven Pillars Mountain. Seven trucks and SUVs in front of the Seven Pillars (named after Lawrence’s memoir). #approp. We’ve driven 4 hours, re-confirming the route, starting at the exquisite Dead Sea Kempinski resort, where media will have their first night. We left mid-morning on the Dead Sea highway, above pink and orange limestone sloping into the blue green super salty water, with a view to Israel and the Palestinian territory, seemingly in swimming distance #irondome.
The Dead Sea is 420 meters below sea level, one of the lowest points on earth, so we’re climbing as we turn onto the mountainous King’s Road, an old Roman highway on which the three wise men travelled to meet Jesus. #gotmyrrh?
Today is our only chance to get the money shot and the sun is sinking. I grow more impatient with every second. Osama finally arrives and we convoy to the Seven Pillars. A support vehicle gets stuck. No time! Move the equipment. Must. Beat. The. Sun. A small non-off-road SUV gets stuck in deep sand (it has no business being here). Then another. Digging, pushing, pulling, cajoling. The five other vehicles are staged. The sun is lower.
Osama phones a friend and, voila, the small SUVs are back in action. The sun slowly creeps behind the mountain as we complete the layout of the seven. The magic hour is upon us. Light and shadow create a majestic tableau of mountain, sky and product. We’re in awe. And exhausted. Camera clicks and flashes are the only sounds that can be heard in the vast desert.
The sun sets… and a full moon rises from behind the Seven Pillars. We turn the vehicles’ lights on…and looking through the viewfinder, almost in tears: Seven Pillars of Succulence.